If I Had Legs I'd Kick You (2026)
If I Had Legs I'd Kick You is in cinemas in Japan now. Its streaming release date hasn't been announced — this page updates the day it lands on streaming.
The verdict
If I Had Legs I'd Kick You is a middling English film — fine for a one-time watch but unlikely to stay with you. It carries a 6.3/10 on TMDB across 420 ratings — squarely mid-table. It clocks in at a standard 113 minutes. It's in theatres in Japan now — best caught on the big screen.
Critics liked it, especially the performances. — distilled from critics' published reviews
Should you spend 1h 53m on it?
1h 53m of English drama. Runs about as long as you'd expect, so no scheduling gymnastics needed.
- Why
- At 6.3/10 from 420 ratings, audiences are split; the genre fit matters more than the score here.
- Skip if
- you're after something that moves faster than it feels
- Best for
- A normal night, nothing to plan around
Story
With her life crashing down around her, Linda attempts to navigate her child's mysterious illness, her absent husband, a missing person, and an increasingly hostile relationship with her therapist.
Good to know
| Runtime | 1h 53m |
| Watch with family? | PG12 · Older kids & up |
| Genre | Drama |
| Language | English |
| Best screen | Theatre / big screen |
Director
Mary Bronstein
Cast
When is If I Had Legs I'd Kick You coming to streaming?
Not streaming yet — If I Had Legs I'd Kick You is in its theatrical run in Japan, released 2026-09-18. English releases typically reach streaming about 5–9 weeks after opening, which would put it somewhere around October 2026 and November 2026.
That's the usual pattern, not a confirmed date — no platform has announced one. We re-check every day and this page updates the moment it lands.
Where to watch in Japan
Availability as of 2026-09-21 — platforms may change over time.
Trailer
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